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Monday, July 26

About toothpaste, with some passion

Please allow me to be frank: I hate Johnson&Johnson/Procter&Gamble corporation and I think their marketing department deserves to be drowned, hanged and quartered. I fucking hate, hate, hate them! All those god-awful detergent, toothpaste, bleach and hygiene stuff commercials... I feel personally insulted by their low-class tacky advertising. They insult my (our) intelligence.

Since Estonia gained independence we have been tormented with their ugly-ass moronic commercials every time we sat in front of the TV. I've gotten at least 20years of it and I may with all confidence consider myself an expert on moroseness of commercials. I've NEVER seen commercials as idiotic on Finnish TV - oh no, Estonia is in the Eastern-European marketing block, naturally. Nobody takes into account, that Estonians are fenno-ugric people and we really, REALLY do not respond well to commercials aimed at Slavic cultural sphere.

Just imagine a lady singing (cant remember the exact words but the meaning went along these lines):
My son has bright teeth and does well in school!
my husband has good breath and he's oh so successful!
my daughters gums never bleed, shes so popular amongst the boys!
Cooolgate supperactioooooon!
all accompanied by a dance routine of some kind. Should I add the tune is quite annoying too? Of course the mouth movements of the actors (those poor people! I hope they got paid well for that embarrassment) did not correspond in any way to the actual lyrics and the people on the screen, well - let's say did not look Nordic. Why yes, of course Im going to buy this wonderful toothpaste, after all this wonderful Turkish housewife on TV is recommending it to me with song and dance and just look at those blindingly white teeth of her husband! (The translator must have passed out at least twice and probably attempted seppuku.)

This must be too much even to the other Eastern-European people. How can anyone even hold down their breakfast?!? Who is the evil mastermind behind such shit? I mean - to every intelligent person it would seem the marketing department is doing it's best to ruin the brand and bring down the company.

So I've started a little campaign of my own - do not buy Colgate or Blend-a-med! Don't buy any of the brands that have large scale annoying campaigns, buy generic shit, ingredients are pretty much identical anyway, with the same SLS and parabens (maybe you even get a tube without triclosan, a poison Colgate likes to put in all its toothpastes). You probably get the stuff cheaper too.

So in Estonia: buy Polardent. It's the only one I know that's produced in Estonia. All you other folks out there, support your local manufacturers and get their stuff instead. Remember - one should not only change toothbrushes frequently, one should also juggle different toothpastes. Ask your dentist.

At the moment I'm the proud owner of these 3 generic Russian brands, Polardent seems to be hard to obtain these days, it's mostly sold in pharmacies. Still hunting.

Kuna meie ajusid on jubedate reklaamidega komposteeritud juba üle 20 aasta, kutsun kõiki üles toetama just omamaa keemiatööstust: hambapastad, pesupulbrid, nõudepesuvahendid. Ärgem andkem oma raha ettevõtetele, kes peavad meid idiootideks. Jätkem meelde: BioEst, Mayer, Polardent, Flora jne jne.

Lisaks astuge veel läbi ka Samelini (jalatsitootja) vabrikupoest Tartus ja ostke endale talveks mõnusad mugavad ja soojad nahkmokassiinid! Soovitan soojalt!

Väike Valge Skvoo on rääkinud.


Anonymous said...

Forget the adverts. What's the state of your teeth?

Siilike said...

As expected from someone raised in soviet union - unspeakably bad. Only 12 of them still without fillings. Most people my age already have some root canal jobs done, some even have implants.

Nea said...

OMG, that song :D Ads here are quite ok... But quite new "anti age toothpaste" is especially amusing product ;D

I prefer local brands too and NEVER use anything containing triclosan. I don't uderstand why they even can use it in toothpastes >:/

Nea/ Fashioned in Finland

Mademoiselle C. said...

I'm so annoyed when I watch TV too... I don't know how long is the ads time in your country but in Ukraine you can see all this shit for at least 25min.

I like to use Parodontax which is a natural product (based with herbs and sodium bicarbonate)or Lacalut, a German brand without parabens, triclosan and all this crappy ingredients.
If you really want something natural, try Parodontax (but without fluor, fluor is as bad as triclosan), it tastes horrible the first time you use it but it does the job very well.

Anonymous said...

Mulle meenus nüüd ka see reklaam. Ühest küljest naljakas, teisest küljest äärmiselt kurb. Ja veel meenus ka see "Ahoi, kopraonu!".Kes üleüldse tahaks endale kopra hammastega sarnanevaid hambaid?!? Kas need reklaamid on tõesti suunatud täiskasvanutele või pigem Teletupsude sihtrühmale? Ei hakka siin blogi kommentaariumis ropendama, aga midagi peale roppuste küll enamuse Eesti telekanalites jooksvate laiatarbekaupade reklaamide kohta öelda pole.
Aitäh Polardenti mainimast. Tunnistan, et polnud sellest kuulnudki.
P.S. Peaksin ka oma pigmendid ära otsima, aga asun Tallinnast kaugel-kaugel ja praegu ei tea ka, millal sinna satun.
Ilusat suve jätku!

Harakas said...

Kobras lahkus Colgate reklaamist ja teeb nüüd kaasa Blendamedi omas.
"Oi, kopraonu - millised säravvalged hambad!"
"See pole veel midagi! Te vaadake mu mune!"

The beaver has left Colgate and joined the Blendamed campaign:
"oh, Mr Beaver, what wonderful white teeth you have!"
"Oh thats nothing, my dears - just look at my eggs (meaning: balls)!"

This is an anecdote that rings a bell all over Eastern Europe...